Author: owentuckerstrings

Bro. If the Outlaws do not win the prestigious (joke) Cash App Championship Trophy then they should be banished just like the Chrome but this time everyone on the roster needs to find a new beer league to play in. I don’t want to hear this hogwash about oh they might not fit together, whos gonna come out of the box, whos going to be the leader of this offense. IT DOESN’T MATTER THEY HAVE 4 CONSECUTIVE TEWAARATON WINNERS. With McNaney in net and a smash mouth defense and a solid faceoff unit if these guys do not put up at least 15 a game they should be ashamed of themselves. Idk how they want to split it up or figure out who gets the rock but I don’t care if these 4 guys-not to mention their midfield with Sam Handley and Graham Bundy Jr, if this starting 6 with Pat Kavanagh, Brennan Oniell, Jared Bernhardt, Logan Wisnauskas, Graham Bundy Jr, and Sam Handley do not score at LEAST 15 goals a game not to mention they have a 2 POINT LINE and have 3 of the best shooters in the league in the midfield and 3 of the best attackman we’ve ever seen drawing slides. I can’t stress this enough that if these guys do anything other then go undefeated from here on out and win it all then it will be a damn shame. And yes I am saying all of this fully confident that Mcnaney will come in and save upwards of 60% for the rest of the season and I will die on that hill.

Atlas

A lot to unpack here, I get it’s the first game of the season and they got the win but this attack line was very underwhelming. The only knock with Shelly throughout his career is that he doesn’t take control enough and that’s what I saw after the first goal of the game. Teat and Dickson just didn’t seem like themselves in game one and I think if Shellenberger would just take more chances like we saw on his feed to Teat in the second half, he could have 5 points every game. In the second game they looked a lot better offensively and Carc made a good point on the broadcast when they scored late, they just look better when they play impatient and I think if they can do that all game they will be as good as they should be. Defensively the Atlas look really solid Gavin Adler possible DPOY, but Danny Logan going down in game 2 is really going to hurt them if he’s not back after the off week. I think the Atlas’s midfield is kind of a weird situation to me because even though Myles Jones and Costabile are both good for 1 or 2 goals a game I feel like Costabile forces some shots sometimes and just plays catch with the goalie, and sometimes jones just looks clunky. I honestly feel like the younger guys in the midfield are going to be the best thing for the Atlas this season Jake Stevens and Matt Traynor are the truth and I honestly think they both should get more time on the first line than Costabile.

Chaos

I honestly don’t even know. I think they could end up being one of the bottom teams in the league. Dare I say Blaze looks like he may be on the decline in his career, which I know sounds crazy and may be because of the ability of the younger goalies in the league like Entenmann, Kirst, and McNaney when he gets the start, but Blaze just didn’t look as sharp and I know it’s early and I’m probably just talking out of my ass because I might be basing this entire take on the second goal of the game when he got beat by Costabile upstairs but I’m allowed to talk out of my ass cause that’s what we do here. Defensively the Chaos just didn’t look like anything crazy I think Jack Posey is solid but he definitely has a lot of room to improve and Jack Rowlett is a dog and Troy Reh has eyes in the back of his head and Jarrod Neumann is just solid all around. Offensively everyone looks solid Eicher went off but other than that nobody really jumps out at me. They just all around don’t seem like a team that has the big-time players like all of the other teams this year.

Redwoods

These dudes could be scary. Offensively they look 10 times better than last year and Joe Spallina is the backbone of this team. I mean they really showed everything this game in terms of young and old guys stepping up Dylan Molloy looked insane, Charlie Bertrand is so smooth, the young guys Chris Kavanagh, McAdorey, Dinenza all looked like legit pros and I think the young group on this offense mixed with the old guys are going to be a serious problem for defenses this year. Speaking of defenses, not overly impressed with Chase Ierlan he seems pretty solid but compared to the other goalies he doesn’t seem to be on the same level as them. All the poles are pretty solid hard-nose guys and pair that with their D-mid room and TD at the stripe I think they’ll be very solid this year. Overall looks like a big improvement from last year and I think they’ll have a real chance to move up in the rankings this year.

Outlaws

I mean not much to say about these guys. McNaney will be starting next week and he has 2 legitimate uncles in front with Bernhardt and Manley and then JT Giles-Harris and Piseno holding it down for the yuncs. Offensively they literally don’t need a coach they’re that good. If they get Jared Bernhardt it will literally be the 2017 Warriors. Paul Rabil actually might force them to give one of those guys to the Chaos in the offseason just to stir the pot. I mean on paper they are one of the most complete and overpowering teams in the league with Luke Wierman, Puglise, and Terefenko they should be able to compete with the best faceoff units in the league. I honestly don’t know how they lost but I can see them making a serious run this season.

Archers

Brett Dobson is just Dillon Ward but better and the absolute dogs he has in front of him like Hossack, Lavelle, and Woodward this defense is lockdown. Faceoffs were terrible and they still won and that just shows me even without the extra possessions the defense is solid enough to get the ball back and the offense is talented enough to capitalize on that. But Sisselberger got smoked. Bad. Offensively nothing really jumped out at me except for Connor Fields but that’s not a surprise. Honestly pretty underwhelming from the offense and Grant Ament coming out of the game could be a big loss for them I hope he gets back soon.

Whipsnakes

This is going to break a lot of hearts but, Rambo is hanging them up after this season. You can tell it helps them to have him out there to kind of guide the younger guys but man he doesn’t look like the Rambo we all know and love. Rob Pannell is the superior unc on this offense but even he doesn’t seem to have much left in the tank. You’ll sense a theme here but again the young guys look bright and I think a lot of teams need to realize that and let them carry these old farts. Aidan Carroll can pull it from anywhere, Matt Brandau can score like butter, Levi Anderson is a freight train, TJ Malone is the truth, that dude from Loyola is gross, I think Brad Smith has some juice left in the tank, all around the offense runs deep and it was just sad to see Rambo and Pannell wearing adult diapers out there in the rain. Defensively Krebs is one of those solid young goalies, they have an old defense and Ajax which is solid, Nardella is elite, Puglise is like a 5th pole, and I think this team can be really good I really just think their weakest point is their elderly presence.

Cannons (Not Biased)

This is my team so this may be a little biased but man these dudes are some dogs. It’s like the roster is literally constructed by guys nobody else really wanted, Drenner has been on like every expansion team and gotten traded like 4 times, Matt Campbell went to Villanova, big Asher from High Point, Marcus Holman and Will Manny who are both like 40 can still sling it, Ethan Rall got picked up late and is one of the best LSMs in the league, Owen Grant is a unit, Epple is an enforcer, D-mid room is gritty, Colin Kirst is a top 3 goalie, Tucci is a dog, I mean the list does not stop. This entire roster is the grittiest all-around best guys you could find. Not to mention the rookies Ben Ramsey, Mic Kelly, Graydon Hogg, all dogs. I mean I swear this is not biased this is the best team in the league and they are winning it all.

Waterdogs

Didn’t play but after CJ gets some water down and takes it easy for a week he’s gonna come in and drop 7.

Quint Kessenich

I mean this guy is on a generational run. And I was planning on mentioning this before NoContext and Rbrowny blasted it on Instagram, this guy is the most entertaining person to watch and genuinely makes me more excited to watch the PLL. He is out there in the rain with a bucket hat and rain jacket grabbing a backup goalie stick to show the people the different stances of the goalies. Also the pre-game interviews where he busted a jog to catch Asher after talking with Myles Jones was electric. And last thing on Quint, as a coach if I’m losing a game and I call a timeout to draw up a Hail Mary to tuck one late and I see Quint sticking his head in the huddle trying to get the mic close enough to me for the broadcast to catch it and then after come up to me and ask what we drew up for us to try and pull something out of our ass, I’m crashing out. So props to Stagnitta.

We are about to witness the easiest 20+ goal season of all time. Putting Jake Taylor on a team with Sowers and Kirst should be illegal. As if he didn’t have it easy enough to park on the crease for 6 years with Pat and Chris drawing every slide and dishing him the yolk, now he has two players who are even better and are going to get half of their assists feeding this guy on the crease. Speaking of feeding him on the crease I didn’t want to say it but that boy must’ve been eating good after his season ended early cause he’s reaching max capacity on this pinny they got him in. Nah but all jokes aside the Waterdogs on paper should be really good but we’ll just have to see how it shakes out.

Waterdogs Offense

These guys are gonna be so sneaky this season, actually it might not even be sneaky their midfield is so stacked and like yeah every team in the PLL is but these guys have a pretty gritty unit. Mikie Schlosser is hopefully gonna be fully back and not go anywhere. Jack Hannah is gross, Zach Currier is a freak, Thomas McOnvey can pepper it, I think if that group learns to play off of each other well they will be scary this year. Their attack group might get weird, Michael Boehm is probably gonna end up coming out of the box and they’re gonna have to figure out if Jake Taylor can come out of the box too that way Kirst, McArdle, and Sowers can all stay on the field all the time for obvious reasons. But that begs the question can Jake Taylor even run that much? (I’m sorry) (no I’m not) Also Ben Wayer could be a difference maker for this team in transition and he might light it up from the two point line. Another thing to note is Zed Williams wasn’t listed on the training camp roster and I haven’t seen anything with him in it at training camp so idk whats going on there.

Waterdogs Defense

I don’t know who is going to be starting in net this year but I am assuming it will be Dillon Ward. I don’t know the first thing about playing goalie but the one thing I’ll say about Ward is that the high crease that he plays has obviously worked for him in his career but I just feel like I’ll watch a replay of him getting sniped on and I can’t help but to think maybe if he wasn’t 20 feet outside of the crease me might have had a better chance of stopping it. Like I said Ben Wayer could be a difference maker on offense in transition, the same thing goes for defensively. I think seeing Wayer and Dylan Hess on the wings for faceoffs will be entertaining, although it will be interesting to see how Hess adjusts to playing a professional sport after boozing 7 days a week in the SEC and playing attack on the club team but I have faith he’ll be back like he never left. That’s pretty much all I got for the defense I mean they have a pretty solid core group down low and I think it’s clear that the most exciting part of this team is their offense. But yeah could definitely make a sneaky run for the championship but then again they could lose every game again.